Goodbye Ordinary

Posts Tagged ‘distraction

So, anyone with children knows… plans are a joke.

I’m surprised I’ve been able to work evening practices into my schedule as much as I have in the past month. Tonight, it was near impossible though.

My children hate going to sleep. Every single night I get the “can I stay up late?!” “But why not??” “Just one more story/song?” “I have to pee” “I need a drink” “I need my light on” “I need to change my pajamas” etc.

Tonight was worse than usual and my eyes were bugging me. I just wanted them to go to sleep nicely, after a story. The little devils wouldn’t get in the bathroom and brush their teeth though! Despite me standing in the hallway, tapping my toe, and humming the jeopardy countdown in my head… they would NOT do it. “I need my other toothbrush… it’s downstairs” “I don’t like that toothpaste” “We’re out of kid mouthwash, I’ll use yours—ahhhh, it’s too spicy, now I need a drink” zomg. Just brush your dang teeth and get in your bed!

After 45 minutes of them bumbling around they finally got in bed, in their chonies, and I had had it. It was past their bedtime. It was encroaching on my yoga time. I have morning yoga in the morning, brats! I need to be ASLEEP by 11 and I have to shower after yoga! 😦

Needless to say, I didn’t have time for balance tonight. So, I subbed. I did Travis Eliot’s Short & Sweet #2, and it was a great practice. It did feel rather “short” though. I apparently was thirsting for a long practice tonight. It hit all the right places though and at least I managed to get that in.

Sidenote— the scissor holds near the end are amazing. My core was on fire from those.

Now I’m off to bed so I can be on my mat at the studio bright and early. It feels like it’s been forever (a whole week!).

For all of you that are doing the UY program, we have to honor ourselves, our hectic lives, and all of the hindrances that come up along the way. We may not be able to get on our mat for the full amount of time that is necessary to complete a UY dvd, but every minute that we are on our mat counts, however long it is. Do what you can, when you can. It all counts on our way to being better yogis; on our way to being ultimate.

Namaste,

Brin

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This morning I was awake and out the door in record time. 5 minutes to be exact.

My 5:33am alarm went off and apparently I turned it off in a dead sleep. The 2nd alarm at 5:44am went off and I grabbed my phone, thinking it was the earlier alarm and about to press snooze, until I read the numbers. Crap! I bolted up, ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth, slipped into my TOMS shoes, and dashed out the door. 5:49 is what the clock in my car read. Phew. I’ll be right on track.

And so it began.

Today is going to be one of *those* days. I have a doctor’s appointment that I am dreading. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day at work. All I want is for it to be after 5pm on Friday so that I can be out to dinner with my best friend, who I don’t see anywhere near frequently enough, and I can blissfully forget about the stress in my life.

If only.

This morning’s practice was so “me”. Hip openers. Ahhhh, sweet, sweet, heavenly hip openers. Pigeon = love.

Here’s my daily dose of random tangent: if I was ever in a band (which I wouldn’t be.. unless I was the dancer for one or a groupie or something)… I would totally call it “twisted pigeon”. The thought makes me giggle every time we do that pose and I hear Kath say “twisted pigeon” in her slightly witty tone.

Anyway, I realized today that I have SO much chatter in my head. It doesn’t stop. I breathe, the world stops, but my mind is like “salfjdakljfldjalsjqlajsdafLKDJALSD-RAH!” and it takes that quiet time and it runs so fast, i’m pretty convinced that it is burning a million calories and I should be an extremely sculpted twig for all that it’s doing.

Sadly, it just makes me a giant ball of stress. I don’t want to hear it! GET OUT OF MY HEAD. Even when I make a conscious effort to shut it all off, it’s there. There are moments when I overcome it and I’m like ooooh, listen, the ocean is in my breath. Sweet. And then it’s like… “Hey look, a wave. Someone’s surfing. There’s a party. Must join. Be the center of attention. LOOK AT MEEEEE. I’m heeeere. Helloooooo”. My mind annoys me.

My muscles aren’t strong, though they are pretty flexible. My mind muscle? Obviously is the weakest (and tightest) component. I am stubborn. I do NOT like it when my plans get screwed up, or it turns out that I was wrong. And apparently I have even less control of where my mind goes than I thought I did. Some moments are better than others of course, but geez. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if I had adult ADHD.

I’m a mess.

So today, I took that mess of a self that I found at yoga, threw on some dress clothes, and off I went to work. Faking it. Faking being put together. Just like sometimes I feel that even in yoga, I’m faking it. Faking “strength”. Faking balance. Faking presence. Because while my poses may look “better” than someone elses, or more advanced… My mind is off the wall. Often times I’m on the verge of a break; Break through? Break down? Psychotic break? I’m not sure.

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From the mat to the office.

This is a reminder that we never really know what is going on inside someone. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Because though I look put together. I’m a mess.

As each breath passes, and each time I get on my mat to confront myself, it gets better though. I change. I grow. I open up. One of these days I’ll realize, I’m not faking it.

Hang in there.

Namaste,

Brin

P.S. My kids were both occupying themselves, so I just decided to pop the Ultimate Yogi Hardcore DVD in and completed that too! 😀 Om!


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