Goodbye Ordinary

Day 13: Need.

Posted on: April 13, 2013

Some days I can get through the day without losing it without the help from something/one else.

Other days, I desperately need some help.

Today was one of the latter. I was about to completely lose it.

It was one of those “OMFG RAWR GRRRRR I WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS” days.

I was so intensely annoyed that as I drove to town (45 minutes earlier than necessary), I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my body. GAHHHH.

I needed some help.

I got to the lounge, let myself in, and there I sat in the silence. I curled up in one of the comfy chairs and there I sat. Ignoring the sounds outside. Ignoring everything I was annoyed at (including the incoming text messages about one of those annoyances). Ignoring reality.

As I sat there before class I let my mind go blank. I just simply existed there. breathing. For a blissful 20 minutes before some other yogis showed up. Thankfully, by then I was in a much better frame and their entrance was welcome.

Today I needed something from my practice. It would have been a great day for a killer power hour class… but they did that yesterday in the evening class so I knew it wasn’t going to happen. Instead we had a yoga playground class.

I got to put my feet behind my head, literally. We did this awesome half moon balance pose that I even managed to lift my arm and balance on only the one leg… It was pretty rockin’. And our pinnacle pose was crow. I’m so not there yet. I’m not even close. I think I was positioned somehow that was wrong tonight, because normally I can put one foot up for like .02 seconds and you know… feel it. But tonight there wasn’t even the slightest possibility to shift my weight. So I’m thinking my feet must have been in the wrong place or.. something. Or maybe today just wasn’t a “prep for crow and get somewhere” day. I surely didn’t feel like attempting to fly.

On the way home I saw a blue jay, and it cheered me up a bit.

But then I got home, back to reality, and those feelings of annoyance and frustration rushed back in. Nowhere near as bad as they were but man. I’m ready for bed.

Tomorrow will be better.

Brin

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