Goodbye Ordinary

Day 5: Treat yourself to tenderness

Posted on: April 5, 2013

I was so stiff this morning. Stretching was so nice, but difficult. Stretching usually isn’t difficult for me. This morning I needed my breath.

I thought it was a little ironic that I posted yesterday about being so distracted and then today I was met with my body REQUIRING that focus and attention. I had to push it away in order to care for myself. I had to breathe into my muscles and ease into everything. I had to break the pace of the class and take my time, lingering in forward fold, then into a flat back, pausing, noticing, savoring.

I could feel my body tightening last night as I was laying in bed. I actually even mentioned to the boyfriend that I hoped it was a gentle class today, because it wasn’t I’d have to do my own thing and make it a gentle practice. I knew it’s what I needed. Luckily, Kath had already planned to lead with gentleness, so that worked out, because honestly I don’t know if I’d really have the strength required to honor my body and do my own thing. I’d like to think that I’m at that point in my yoga practice to do that, but honestly, I’m not sure that I am.

I’ve been feeling so anxious the past few weeks. Especially this one. I can feel the ball of anxiety huddled in my chest. Pressing. Waiting. Threatening to overcome me. There have been moments in the recent past where that anxiety moves upward and I can feel it right behind my eyes. Taking grasp in my eye sockets and making me feel like my eyes are dams that are about to be broken. They have held strong, but the feeling has been overwhelming at times. I need to cry. I don’t really have control over crying. I am a crier. If I am sad, I cry. If I am angry, I cry. If I am tired, I whine–and sometimes cry. If I am frustrated, I cry. So, it’s not like I’m a stranger to crying… but for some reason, I haven’t been able to let it out.

After class this morning, I stepped into the world and took a deep breath.

The town was still. The morning chaos had not yet started.

I could smell the crisp air. I could feel the sun beating on my face. It was refreshing.

I definitely needed my day started with such care and attention.

I took that attention to my breakfast this morning, and treated myself to freshly juiced spinach & apple juice. One of my favorites! ❤  I adore my juicer.

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Today is going to be a rough day. It’s one of those days that you have to do the part of your job that you hate. It’s a struggle. It’s where you have to separate emotion and empathy from your rational brain. It’s hard.

Luckily, my best friend has penciled me into her schedule and I’ll get to wind down with her tonight after the stress of the day.

I am so blessed.

Namaste,

Brin

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1 Response to "Day 5: Treat yourself to tenderness"

Breathe deeply and go about the day slowly. Remember your class this morning. Carry the memory throughout the day. And then, before you know it, it is already time to meet your blessing 🙂 Have a lovely time with your friend today Brin! m.

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