Goodbye Ordinary

Letting Go

Posted on: January 31, 2013

Day 18:
Letting go.

I cried during yoga tonight.

I was mentally writing this post during my entire practice (I know, bad) but now that I’m actually typing, I have no idea what to say.

I guess I’ll start with a confession… I am a very open person. Probably too open. But at the same time, I keep certain things locked away… for  way way too long. So long, that when they finally come to the surface, it’s like a volcano erupting, and it destroys a lot… sometimes everything.

I don’t do it on purpose, to be honest, I even denied doing it for the longest time though my mom ALWAYS swore that I did this. She was totally right. I do. It’s terrible, and I really must find a way to address things as they occur instead of compounding them for so long that there is no repair.

Unfortunately, I’ve caught myself doing it again in my relationship. It’s mostly small things, that all separate aren’t a big deal at all…. but when you hold onto them forever, they snowball, and they all clump together, and then they are monumental, and there isn’t enough time to fix them all before everything is ruined. It’s catastrophic, and it’s ridiculous because it’s 100% preventable.

I need to learn to let things go.

I need to let go of fear, expectation, and accept each moment as it arises: both on and off the mat. I need to let go of the past and be grateful for getting the chance to live, in the now.

I need to not only forgive (which is a HUGE HUGE struggle for me), but I also need to put the wrongdoings aside and not let them taint the picture of the present. History doesn’t have to repeat itself, but it always will if that is where your focus lies.

You have to let it go.

I have to let it go.

This song came on my playlist while practicing tonight: and it totally hit home.




2 Responses to "Letting Go"

Really enjoyed the read. Letting go is a major major major step in the right direction. If only more folks could do this.

Thanks! I’m not very good at it. It’s probably the thing I struggle with most in my life, but I’m trying, and I know it’s a weakness, so that’s a start right? 🙂

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