Goodbye Ordinary

Day 11: A weakened warrior

Posted on: April 11, 2012

So last night was a pretty stressful night in my life. It’s a pretty long story and it’s intense, full of drama, and frustration. I’ll just sum it up by saying… If you mess with my kid, I will go from sweet as pie to enraged mama bear in .02 seconds flat. And then if you interrupt me, you will get your head bitten off and handed to you. I may have somewhat of a temper. And have I mentioned I’m not a quiet person?

I tried working out my anger/stress/frustration with a bout of yoga last night, about 2o mins of flowing sun salutations, and then a

bout 10 mins of sitting in shoulder stand just chilling. (I read online that shoulder stand is good for anger relief). I felt a little better after that but then the boyfriend wanted to talk about it all (he was witness to it) and rehash it which only made me get upset all over again.

For the record, I don’t do well with discussing things that I’m still upset about. I need time to mull them over and get back to that point of calmness… This could take hours, more often days, and sometimes even weeks, until I get to that point where I can discuss it without freaking out and crying all over again. I need to work on this anger communication… but it’s difficult. And really, if people would just stop pissing me off… that’d be a lot more convenient. lol

Anyway, I didn’t sleep well last night and have had a horrid kink in my shoulder/neck since last night from the stress. I woke up this morning at 5:40 and then decided to just go back to bed and go to the night class instead. I think that extra hour of sleep did me some good. I wasn’t in an awful mood today, though not the best either… and I still haven’t responded to the text from the culprit. But still. I toughed it out and got through the day.

Then it was time for yoga. I read the virtual yogarian’s blog post from Kath and was like… really? Apocalyptic ice ball storm… Totally was what my life was throwing at me emotionally too. I was also kinda not looking forward to today’s practice as she said it was going to be full of warriors… in vinyasa flow form… a.k.a a pretty intense practice. But boy, did I ever need it.

As soon as I pull up on Main Street and see that wooden door my spirits start to rise. I start getting excited that for the next hour or so… I get to forget about the world. I get to press pause on everything that’s going on outside of the studio and just fall into my breath. Just focus on me, my body, my spirit, and my practice. I don’t have to worry about being judged, people being mean to my kids, or censoring myself so that I don’t offend someone with my tone of voice. I can just go inside and push alllll of that nonsense out. Crossing that threshold and trotting up those stairs is absolutely freeing.

I walk into the lounge, take off my shoes, grab my mat bag, stuff for a mat sandwich, and an extra blanket for a seat and go to throw my stuff on the floor and change from those uncomfortable work clothes. Then I set up my space in the front row (usually pretty sprawled out with all my crap) and start to let go of the day. I usually do a few forward folds, maybe a couple sun salutes, or side stretches. I’m usually pretty amped, no matter how tired I was before I got there, as I see all the familiar faces of fellow yogi’s. I always seem to fall into some conversation and the stress of the day/life just fades into the background. What stress? I’m just me at MSY. A free, soft, unwound (as in, i’m typically a ball of stress), gumby-like being for one blissful hour.

And then it begins.

So most of you readers know how a typical yoga class goes, I’m sure. and if you don’t… well you can google and find a video of one I’m sure. Tonight we did vinyasa flow yoga. A vinyasa of warrior 1, warrior 2, variations like lateral angle & dancing warrior, then triangle, inverted triangle, plank, stick, chattaranga to up and down dogs… It was an arm KILLER.

My arms literally feel like jello. Immediately after class they felt like jello. Instant jello. They’re tingly, heavy, and just… ooey gooey. I can just imagine how sore I will be tomorrow. Blissfully sore I’m sure… But I kinda doubt I’ll be making it to the morning class in this state. I’m doubting even being able to roll out of bed in this condition. 😛

I love it though. It’s a sign that I’m getting stronger. I’m sticking with it… and I’m changing. I shall persevere and damn it, I will take it in stride and be a warrior. At least for this week.

Warrior Girl: Image by Perzo




1 Response to "Day 11: A weakened warrior"

love this! so glad the practice lifted your spirits. that is one of the little gifts that yoga gives to us; just the knowledge that it is there for us to retreat to and find refuge in.

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